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| 8:37pm - It appears that there has been some sort of controversy about the latest vote. We had originally declared the
winner as Psam57 based upon our exit polling, but it turns out the vote has gotten too close to call. We are awaiting the
final tally and will tell you more as soon as we can. |
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| 10:24pm - With all votes counted it appears as though Jay! was the winner by a mere 4 votes. This has triggered an
automatic recount in the CGI script. We'll let you know as soon as the results are back. |
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| 10:25pm - The results are in and things have really gotten interesting here. Jay! is in the lead by only 2 vote, but
there is more to this story than we previously thought. It seems that some of the voters have complained about the
voting panel. The layout was apparently misleading and some of the voters are now saying that they cast their vote for
Brandy, something we all know would be improbable. |
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| 10:49pm - We're just now learning the details of the complaints made about the voting panel. It seems as though
many were unable to understand which dot lined up with which name. We can only assume that this is due to the painfully low IQ
of the general public. In yet another act of terrible stupidity, Psam57 has taken legal action to get another recount, by hand this time. This will take a
great deal of time and effort on our part, but we want to make sure the true voice of the voter is heard. |
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| 12:34am - Some shocking events have been brought to our attention. We have gotten numerous emails from voters
claiming to be bribed or forced into voting for Jay!. In one report a bus load of voters who had never even heard of Smartass! was
brought from another website and given crystal meth in exchange for a vote for Jay!. In another report a woman claims that
she received IMs telling her that if she did not vote for Jay! she would be put on a mailing list of daily inspirational quotes from
our very own Brandy. |
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| 7:04am - We have been informed that a legal team from both sides are on their way to our headquarters to supervise
the recount. We expect to have the hand count done late tonight, but it is difficult to say how this will turn out. |
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| 9:40am - In her first act as senator elect, Hillary Clinton has issued a statement calling for the deconstruction
of Smartass! due to the fact that the majority of the world does not possess the intellect required to understand or operate
this system. We intend to fight this, but we may need your support. Please help make a stand by sending in your comments! |
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| 10:12pm - The hand count of the vote is complete and Jay! has maintained a lead, but of only 1 vote. The Psam57 camp
has requested another full hand recount, but the Jay! legal team has submitted a court ordered injunction to block it. All we
can do now is wait for the decision. |
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| 8:43am - We have uncovered more on the story involving the threatened voters. It is alleged that the person responsible
for this terrible injustice of our system was Hillary herself! We have aquired undeniable photos from an unnamed source. Decide
for yourself. |
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 12:15pm* - This just in from one of our in the field reporters...Hipster1013 reports, "Unnamed sources have identified the true culprit of the Smartass! voting irregularities to be an underground operative for the GOP known by the code name Bushbaby (pictured right). She was last seen soliciting votes for the Jay! camp by forcing psam57 supporters to watch videos of Janet Reno dancing in a g-string." 7:34pm* - Spiff met with a spokesman from the Jay! camp today and sends us the transcript of the interview... Spiff: Does your camp intend to keep counting until you get the result you want? Jay! Spokesman: Well.. I can see that this is getting argumenitive.. So, I'll state what I've said before.. my position on this is, we must see all facts presented, and continue to study the facts given to us, over and over, until those facts become so blurred to the point that we can make them seem to be what we want them to be.. so to answer your question, I'll just say that... we repeatedly inspected the facts given, and shall do so again and again with accordance with the law.. I see nothing wrong with that, and hope the Psam57 campaign would agree to that at least! No no.. no more questions. 10:32pm* - This just off the AP wire... |
Recount Reveals Brandy Defeated SMARTASS! -- A third recount by Smartass election officials has "definitively determined" that notable contributor "Brandy" was defeated in the latest contest. "There was a very significant 25,603-vote discrepancy between the first two counts, with Brandy losing by respective margins of 2,812,339 and 2,837,942, so we decided to conduct a hand recount," Smartass Overlord "Chunk" said. "We now know that Brandy lost by precisely 2,821,278 votes." It is not yet known whether Brandy lost to Psam57 or Jay. -- Critical Bill If you have any information concerning these matters please let us know. We hope that with your help we can get to the bottom of this quickly and accurately, and if quickly and accurately doesn't get us the result we want, we promise to keep on counting until it does. |