Volume 3, Issue 8 Editor:
Leyara Rin My what a splendid issue this one is. We have some great
and funny top five responses, a peek at the list for the Clerics of the Sword, Shandora's box that is
once again full of funny quips and quotes, news and some things a few Spurians decided to share with
us here at the paper. Thank you to everyone that voted, contributed, and shared with us. Top Fives Signs that a Psycian has missed a
dose of madness cure 1. They begin flirting with any
Frontacian close bye Talk about one of the most horrifying things ever to
witness! If any reading this are ever within slapping distance and a Psycian close by starts exhibiting
these symptoms, you need to leave immediately. I know curiosity usually gets the best of all of us and
we stay, just to see what will happen next, That's the Spurian way! And once you see this phenomena happen
for yourself there is no forgetting it, never! Most effective pick-up Lines by a Drag-al 1. "My tail could make you very happy" This top five topic should speak for itself. All you need is one
Drag-al, shaken, not stirred and someone the Drag-al finds remotely attractive or interesting to begin minutes
of witty and zany fun, throw in a tail, some ale, and a love of fire and you will also find yourself swept up
in the madness that is Drag-al! That's why we love them isn't it? Draco's most likely to mistake indigestion
for signs they are staging 1. Baal Would you expect anything else from these five? I mean truly? I have
heard that they eat pretty much everything in sight just like your typical Thugian so it only seems natural when
their stomach finally starts rebelling that they fail to think why it really is happening and get all goofy over
it, thinking this is it! I am staging! When in fact all it comes down to is a digestive system gone mad. Things found on Callik's to-do List 1. Destroy Emjedah On any given day these five things might change order, but
this is pretty much it. Callik is a warmonger, therefore he wants war. He likes chaos, he likes causing
trouble and hurting others. I don't need to prove that to you as he has plenty of witnesses already that
know this to be true. He wants Emjedah destroyed, permanently and he will do what he can to see it happen.
Even by going so far as to make deals and conjure up plots with a traitorous Sanene "agent" of the same
city to see it happen. Callik also loves to shoot people, especially Dragons, in the arse. Other than that
is pretty much all he can reach, no one truly knows why his arrows are always aimed in that particular
direction. Where there is Callik, there is chaos, no glue as of yet, plenty of trees and daisy chains
galore. Silly reasons given to a guard when caught
breaking the law 1. "Law? What law?" I think these reasons speak for themselves, and whether they work
or just cause one to get into further trouble is something you will have to decide for yourself if the need ever
arises. Hilarious though they may be, they have been known to actually work nonetheless. So do commit them to
memory! Those Mighty Swords At least some of them are mighty, not all of
them but some of them. With a few, the only thing mighty about them are their ego's, their wit, even their
stupidity but that is a whole other column! Slade is the best sword cleric in the lands at this present time.
The Hithuals Jurix and Magdelyn come next followed by the Sanene Kagee and a Secian named Erana. Snurd, another
Sanene is next followed by the Hithual Meqetlh. The only Human in the top ten, Scarlett is the ninth best Sword
Cleric in the lands and is followed by another Hithual, Remsus, who is in tenth place. 1. Slade Jinketsu the Psycian Shandora's Box Ramkin says, "Now if zombies weren't so fixed onto eating my flesh, I think
I'd hug one." Guaire asks Nomita, "Pity to waste a Penthanian's aptitude for magick on such
a pointless profession, don't you think?" Azron says in Sanene, "In the morn, when the dew glistens to wet eyes of the
doe." Ocinaiya exclaims to Phannah, "That settles it. Something is VERY wrong with
you and I need to get you some help!" Syai says, "With all the nasty things you did to me Baal I never believed you
could make me laugh." Selabeth says to Mashema in Leuian, "Shhhh" Allandra asks Ragarn, "So you were saying something about trading me for Daine.
Does this mean I'll be carrying all the spoils?"
Tuftor says to Callik, "I have a vast collection of school boy antics so you watch yourself." Rylek says to Rytul, "I need ESP." Callik says to Voskresenieye, "I've befriended trolls with better personalties." Balamoore asks Tygerlili, "15 gold for a good shave?" Cieran says to Tymas, "You really have to get over that. I am married ye know." Rev says, "OK, sorry I needed to put on my shinny armor so I could keep talkin as a
Odarian." Talar asks, "Good, and Master Tygraa - he well as - well - - well?" You pick up Kirrra's mental link, "I'd like to learn ork so I could tell them to stay
away from Litorth's claws!" Slepinfire says to Bael, "Your words remind me of the summer wind, hot and meaningless.
I am done with you, for now, you are dismissed." Mala says to Saberus in Leuian, "I am happy to see you *less* dressed because I believe
we are a modest race." News * Tchori the Leuian Psion was observed storming around
TSC, furious that he had been killed and stripped of his medallion. He has sworn to slaughter the "wanna-be mages" responsible. * Seems Mel the Leuian is back on the market again as
an available bachelor shortly after the death of his Khat'sara, Ammarra, who is rumored to have died while giving birth to Khits
(We're not sure whose.) He has been seen making puppy eyes at Cimerianna, who used to be in a steamy relationship with Tantrum. * Muck invaded TSC with an army of wild boars, snarling
and snapping orklings, forest orks, old trolls, baby trolls, and other disgusting baddies. As Spurians slayed the smelly creatures,
a deep booming voice could be heard saying, "FEE FII FUM FUM, THIS CITY SMELLZ YUM YUM!" As Spurians prepared for battle with Muck's
rumored Giant, the creatures were seen fleeing the city. * A Sanene merchant by the name of Sabueso has been seen
advertising powerful magickal items in Spur, and has provided his services to Rylek and Sadat. While some Spurians are excited about
his wares, others are skeptical about where he learned such abilities from, and have speculated that perhaps this godless merchant
is connected with Maloveous. Rylek is rumored to have plans to purchase a sword that makes one immune from magickal attacks for
16,000 gold at press time. * A swarm of Go-blin-al's has recently invaded TSC, dragging
powerful monsters to the square and cackling as they maim citizens. Rylek arrested Cheki the Go-blin-al on two counts of assault,
attacking Shaar the Psycian and Shay'ra the Human. The rest of the green Gobbie gang runs free, wreaking havoc wherever they go. * The weather seems to be getting progressively colder
and snowier, and Spurians have reacted to this in different ways. One can observe Secians frolicking in the snow, people building
snowmen, and Monitanians holding their cloaks close to them and grumbling sourly. One night, the weather got so horrid, a magickally
animated snowman appeared and went straight for Sir Rylek's throat. No matter where he ran to in TSC, the snowman followed him.
After intense fighting from Spurians of all races and religions, the evil snowman was brought down, and it exploded into a mess of
slushy snow, coal, and carrots. Shortly after, TSC was invaded by 19 ice-covered orks, but they were disposed of quickly. * Shay'ra the Human is in jail for revealing Cheki's
disguise. According to the new Spurian mandates, revealing the disguise of one who is not impersonating another is considered an
assault with intent to harm. Impersonating another through the use of disguise is a 100 gold fine to the victim and a night in jail.
Other new Mandates may be viewed in the News and Issues section of the post office. * I approached Anvil and asked him for a statement on what
he thought about the conflict in the Sa'ian temple,. What I got is this statement, here it is in its entirety. I feel that further commentary
would take away from Anvil's point. "Conflict is something seen by those outside the temple walls. Those
of the orderly sect, the entropic, the chaotic have a common goal. We seek to inform others of the glory and might of our Lord Sa. And
while we do this in varied ways, we are united in that cause. There are those within this city that would have the chaotic sect abandon
the city of Emjedah. What good is to be obtained from that? Will less slaves be imprisoned? Will they gain one scrap more of food? I think
not. The bolts of the fir elf Callik do little but sail over the walls of the city. They strike nothing but empty ground. There is a greater
bolt we seek, Influence. Through influence our numbers grow, our power increases. Who is to say what will come of such. Only Sa knows the
ending." "I would ask the other religions how they seek to make change. What have
they done? Have they marched upon their "foe?" Do they stand and protest outside the gates? They sit in the comfort of their homes and write
letters to the Spurian post. And they speak to us of injustice? Yes, we are willing to bear the brunt for the greater good of our Lord." I asked Anvil his opinion of Ralin, Timor, and Ulric: "I cannot speak for them on the issue of slavery, although I think the answer
quite clear. There is murder in the heart of your city here. Your leaders of the council...they are Odarian? Setites? Members of almost all
religions? Murder flourishes. Ask them if they support it. Your Governor... He is a Muat is he not? Upon whose life force does he feed? I am
told they must do so to survive. Do those of the council turn there heads when such times come? This world is full of injustice, of immorality.
One has but only to look to find it." "I do not have slaves. The chaotic temple does not use slave labor. Members
of my clergy do not possess slaves. I would ask what those of Spur would have us do? We serve our God, not a city. You may ask Timor, Ralin,
or Ulric of my allegiance. They will tell you quite clearly where it lies...with Sa." The Firing of Pinesbreak Come listen, ye all, as the tale unfolds, To the forest’s edge, as the North crow flies, Under cloaks black as night in the moon’s pale glow, Unaware, the city at Pinesbreak slept, When dawn’s long fingers reached out o’er the land Alarms were sounded on horn and on drum, With force overwhelming and purpose severe South into Caersech the villagers ran That night was a feast ‘neath the smoke-obscured stars, When your feast is done and you then retire - Found in a Usil Library in the White Forests by
Graymalkin Hlaund on one of his many trips there. - - - - - - - - - - I am an Anthian; I escaped from my nest. -Zef Highwing
3rd month in the year 313
Assistant Editor: Sarithiya
Darklure
Publisher: Stalton Darkclaw
Contents:
1.) A few words from the Editor
2.) Top Fives
3.) Sword Clerics Guild
4.) Shandora's Box
5.) News
6.) Creative Endeavors
Leyara Rin
2. They start bugging out
3. They begin flirting with anyone that has a tail
4. Their mind is full of fluff
5. They have convulsions
2. "Have I got a tale/tail for you!"
3. "I haven't seen you around the Square before"
4. "Want a ride?"
5. "I'm keeping my mouth closed because you're all the fire I need"
2. Mystikal
3. Derkesthai
4. Firebreath
5. Amedeo
2. Shoot Dragons in the arse
3. Apply glue to bow hand
4. Pet a tree
5. Slay all the Emjedahite miners and then unwind by frolicking through a field and making a daisy chain.
2. "Merlin made me do it!"
3. "No, really officer, I was just on the way to get my exile papers, I swear!"
4. "But the Secians do it!"
5. "I promise it wasn't on purpose! I have an unusual trait that causes me to pick people's pockets when I sleep
walk. I can't help it, it runs in the family."
Leyara Rin
2. Jurix Hammercraft the Hithual
3. Magdelyn Carrolton the Hithual
4. Kagee Predator the San Elf
5. Erana Healingwonder the Secian
6. Fang Darkbite the Arachnian
7. Snurd Evileye the San Elf
8. Meqetlh Forgefist the Hithual
9. Scarlett Deesse the Human
10. Remsus Renscorn the Hithual
11. Osire Fletcher the Hithual
12. Aedyn Rivendale the Leuian
13. Tragick Axident the Arachnian
14. Kruses Kunimalla the Leuian
15. Varnfair Bruive the Fir Elf
16. Kismett Kaelii the Hithual
17. Fegan Oredigger the Hithual
18. Luthia Solrael the Anthian
19. Nessa Tyberyn the Secian
20. Banath Crystallis the Hithual
21. Rev Lastcall the Hithual
22. Lycinda Langely the Hithual
23. Azron Malignor the San Elf
24. Minimum Maximuss the Secian
25. Cieran Delgrim the Human
26. Ariane Sylvan the Leuian
27. Reardon Blackmace the Hithual
28. Anvil Bloodbaine the Hithual
29. Canaris Stonefist the Flerian
30. Zachery Bumbear the Hithual
31. Foom Thurunder the San Elf
32. Laston Ildliche the Leuian
33. Demiurgos Nuos the Human
34. Headflinger Gritloo the Hithual
35. Larrkyn Dragiins the Leuian
36. Meera Skout the Leuian
37. Lestor Pren the Leuian
38. Renlak Darklance the San Elf
39. Alastor Solagarde the Hithual
40. Lew Carson the Secian
41. Terlus Mreisin the Human
42. Furek Stoneaxe the Hithual
43. Miranda Greyson the Human
44. Amalia Tupaska the Human
45. Lyone Goldenclaw the Leuian
46. Iitan Baine the Arachnian
47. Dandric Sturm the Human
48. Cimerianna Sylverblade the Leuian
49. Slag Strongheart the Hithual
50. Hugh Tullos the Human
Tristene Orlex
- Unknown
- Guaire the Frontacian, Nomita the Penthanian
- Azron the San Elf
- Ocinaiya the Drag-al, Phannah the Human
- Syai the Dragon
Selabeth says to Mashema in Leuian, "No teww Weyiwion."
- Selabeth and Mashema, Leuian
- Allandra the Psycian, Ragarn the Frontacian
- Tuftor the Frontacian, Callik the Fir Elf
Rytul says to Rylek, "You need therapy."
- Rylek and Rytul, Sanene
- Callik the Fir Elf, Voskresenieye the Dragon
- Balamoore the San Elf, Tygerlili the Leuian
- Cieran the Human, Tymas the Leuian
- Rev the Hithual
- Talar the Human
- Kirrra the Secian, Bondmate to Litorth
- Slepinfire the Dragon, Bael the San Elf
- Mala and Saberus, Leuian
Nibiru Sirius
(author unknown, Sanene traditional)
A Tale known to us all, both young and old;
Of a time when a battle was fought and won,
And when the Dark Tribe’s deeds were done,
The song of their triumph began to be sung!
Hark ye now to the tale as its told -
Past the break of the pines, where the wildland dies
Came five dark figures of Elvish Kynde -
Scouts for the Tribe that followed behind,
Seeking what fortune fate led them to find -
Five shadows with pitch black eyes.
Like a lightning flash did their armor show;
And in that brief light were their aspects keen -
These intrepid scouts of the proud Sanene,
Stealthy shapes with shadows lean -
Moving silently through the snow.
As to their gates these strangers crept.
Through the village square and away again
Like a shudder that creeps in under one’s skin:
Five shapes hurried thence with reports for their kyn
Of the secrets the village kept.
And beckoned the Sun to awaken and stand,
A lone Firian sentry beheld the sight
Of twenty-three horsemen with skin black as night
Brandishing runes and weapons of might
Galloping ‘cross Pinesbreak’s span.
As the sentry was pierced by an arrow’s hum.
Then the village gate splintered with deafening crack -
Still the Firian bowmen repulsed the attack.
Yet e’en though the horsemen were driven back,
From the North did the Dark Tribe come.
The Sanene force to the village drew near -
The Fir inside Pinesbreak panicked and fled,
Mothers grabbing up children and armfuls of bread,
Men shielding their brood from the flames overhead -
Raining down chaos and fear.
As runes burned the city with fiery brands.
The dwellings of Pinesbreak were put to the fire
The dark Sanene war-cries a funeral choir
Hovering over the smouldering pyres -
That once were Fir elf lands.
Songs were sung of the glory and deeds done in war.
Draughts of wine as a tribute to those who died well
Were mixed with blood of the enemy fell’d -
Twas Sanene blade and Sanene spell
Which scattered the fir elves afar.
With kin and with friend at the side of the fire,
When one tells the story in whisper low
Of the Firing of Pinesbreak long ago -
Remember the glory our kin once showed
And the honor their deeds require.
Never liked the Others; always fitted in with the rest.
When I'm up high, and my wings become furled..
I comet real fast,
And crash into the world!
Actor and Jester.
As always, if you want to compliment, confide in, threaten, or to advertise anything at all, send us a scroll. Thanks for reading another mind-boggling but stimulating issue of our paper!
The Tribune Staff