Volume 3, Issue 6
10th month in the year 312

Editor: Leyara Rin
Assistant Editor: Sarithiya Darklure
Publisher: Stalton Darkclaw


Contents:
1.) A few words from the Editor
2.) Top Fives
3.) Psions Guild
4.) Shandora's Box
5.) The Advocates
6.) News

Greets! I present to you another fine issue of the Tribune. Full of intrigue, excitement, newsworthy smut and smutty news. Here, everyone and everything can be poked at, made fun of, ridiculed, and each and every one of us does it with a smile on our face. We certainly wouldn't want it any other way and I know that is why so many of you love us so! Gives me a warm tingly sensation just knowing how deeply we here at the Tribune are so deeply adored. Just remember, some of our news is actually true! It is up to you to figure out what is truth and what is not.

Top Fives
Leyara Rin

Spurian most likely to blame the other guy

1. Any Pride Leuian
2. Grimn
3. Kagee
4. Kyrinne
5. Natari

I am so disappointed. No one voted for me, sniff. Oh well, maybe next time! Those honorable Leuians, if they aren't the first thing on someone's mind, they are the last thing on people's minds. There is no winning! That grungy rat muncher Grimn took second place, followed by Kagee~the newest crowned Queen of TS. Kyrinne wasn't one to be ignored here and that scamp Natari got named too, imagine that!

Spurian with the best sense of humor

1. Aliyah
2. Changeman
3. Cuervo
4. Kei
5. Sly

Ah, it's my turn - Miss Poison Pen at your service. Leyara gave me this one category to use and abuse. Let's see...Aliyah was voted funniest in Spur. Aliyah! the little pirate odarian isn't funny unless she's getting her wings ripped off! Or so I thought. Changesan Shadowsmirk snagged 2nd. The witty and perceptive San boils the blood of some opinionated floozies who cross him, but tickles the fancy of plenty! (He does more than tickle a fancy, but that's for a different category) Cuervo - we all know he is the king of wry humor. Thejokester drag-al has a thing for tongs and loves riddles - he captivated Spur for 3rd. Kei, who the frag is that? was voted 4th. And Sly, man of wisdom and poetic Kyrinne bashing came in a lowly 5th, but he gets my vote. - Sarithiya.

Top 5 places to crash out for the night

1. Basement of temple Set
2. Joyeusse's Garden
3. Kagee's house
4. Traveler's Hostel
5. The Rose Eternal

I haven't tried sleeping in the basement of the Set temple but I have heard it is quite cozy. And no, there isn't an infestation of rodents and serpents crawling, squirming, or slithering all over the floor like some of you think. The garden is my first pick, nothing like the scent of fresh cut flowers to serenade ones nostrils with such sweetness. What can anyone really say about the third choice? To the ones who voted for the hidden place, you either don't know what you are speaking of, or are being brainwashed as I write this. I have heard many good things about the Hostel. It being so close to TS, the bank, and the H.O.D. who can go wrong? Taath only knows why anyone would spend any more time than necessary in the Rose. That place is fouled daily by the contents of others stomach's. If the floors actually happen to be clean, the stench of vomit always lingers persistently in the air. You are either wading through it or breathing it in. A definite lose lose situation.

Top 5 best drinks in town

1. Chamomile Tea
2. Edgewater's Dockjuice
3. Hithual Ale
4. Honey Ale
5. Khatnyp Tea

I am strictly a tea drinker, why you may ask? Well if you got falling down drunk from one sip, you would do the same. Chamomile tea, so scrumptious it makes me purr uncontrollably was first pick. My sources have informed me that Dockjuice has the ability to make Sanene purr. To be honest, that would be a pretty frightening thing to witness. Ahh ale, so many flavors, so few hands. Hithual, and Honey were the spirits of choice and Khatnyp tea ended up last on the list.

Top 5 tastiest foods in town

1. Chocolate
2. Fresh Bread
3. Mixed Salad
4. Poppet's Death by Chocolate
5. Stingray Filet

Now these are the foods to die for, sigh for, sometimes even cry for. Who can deny the delicious power chocolate, in countless delectable forms, has over all of us, both big and small. Fresh bread, another big weakness of mine. Here I sit, in a place very few know about, with my stomach growling, writing of food that is not to be found! Salads with their mixed leafy variety of crunchiness, saucy dressings, filet of string ray! if cooked properly, practically melts in your mouth! Oh, and death by chocolate as only Poppet made it...That treat alone is enough to die for. Gah! I am going to die if I don't get some right now!

The Glow Me Not's
Leyara Rin

Galwyn has the trainer of this guild apparently wrapped around his little finger, maybe even his big toe. I have heard whispers that he glows so often, his glow has become bright enough to allow him to travel in the darkness with nary a torch lit. Two Psycians, Alyndara and Allie come next followed by two Leuians, Morpheus and Tchori. Good news! none of these Leuians or Psycians are related to each other. Yay! Claudia, one who hasn't been seen willingly hunting with Frontacians yet, is next with Serrina following, who still thinks everyone in Spur is her friend. Speaking of even more strangeness, more Leuians are in the top ten! Galwyn, do something! Have some baby Usil Psions already! Khang and Nagilum have to go! Syntrik is in tenth place, and barely holding on.

1. Galwyn Alavae the Usil Elf
2. Alyndara Savien the Psycian
3. Allie Bobba the Psycian
4. Morpheus Maelificos the Leuian
5. Tchori Darkstar the Leuian
6. Claudia Vortex the Psycian
7. Serrina Tobles the Anthian
8. Khang Klawtalon the Leuian
9. Nagilum Kraxom the Leuian
10. Syntrik Shrash the Psycian
11. Meonok Stearamide the Psycian
12. Zanth Jib the Psycian
13. September Breeze the Leuian
14. Fiora Buscaglia the Psycian
15. Nixtalis Vortex the Psycian
16. Sapphire Luminescent the Penthanian
17. Zhen Vuong the Psycian
18. Primal Abyzmal the Psycian
19. Shatanue Oreayt the Psycian
20. Tarrant Darkfae the Frontacian
21. Audiva Optasia the Psycian
22. Liseli Andras the Penthanian
23. Ledara Corrinth the Psycian
24. Pents Spellwhorl the Penthanian
25. Khagerr Feran the Leuian
26. Elias Ridley the Secian
27. Unitas Thundero the Penthanian
28. Shaar Durolt the Psycian
29. Smitten Starz the Psycian
30. Bella Rilia the Psycian
31. Gaudior Revlis the Drag-al
32. Radia Sorev the Psycian
34. Grond Grishnak the Oog-ra
35. Brooke Duri the Psycian
36. Edelweiss Patel the Secian
37. Pyr Hyran the Penthanian
38. Cushat Cusec the Secian
39. Durin Leer the Psycian
40. Lore Fractis the Penthanian
41. Inga Radamacker the Human
42. Tekk Cypril the Psycian
43. Gabriella Greyhand the Leuian
44. Seven Sven the Secian
45. Lawler Barse the Drag-al
46. Dart Mylene the Psycian
47. Evelyn Vortex the Psycian
48. Zorona Flourents the Psycian
49. Merwyn Blackphur the Leuian
50. Zarsharkai Crystalah the Penthanian

Shandora's Box
Maella Wolfrider

Lal says to Soyam in Human, "Ya know.. I think it'd be funny if a tentacle reached out of the crack an dragged Kagee to her doom."
-Lal & Soyam, Human.

Kyrinne exclaims, "I am legendary in my bad sense of direction!"
-Kyrinne the Secian.

Arsen exclaims to Soyam, "Morals are for lesser beings!"
-Arsen the Drag-al, Soyam the Human.

Vixen says to Daemon, "Well my sweet, how unfortunate for you that I'm going shopping tonight"
-Vixen the San Elf, Daemon the Human.

Scruple says, "Trying to get a house"
Rialla says, "I've got enough for"
Rialla says, "A door mat"
Scruple says, "Hmmm"
Rialla says, "Maybe"
-Scruple the Drag-al, Rialla the Secian.

Rylek exclaims in Sanene, "I don't need to be clever. I am the ego driven corrupt knight of Spur!"
Rylek says in Sanene, "Stick that in your paper."
Nibiru says to Rylek, "Certainly."
-Rylek & Nibiru, Sanene.

Dror says, "I kilt Cutesy"
Scruple says, "Well, that can't be all bad"
Dror says, "She ask fo it"
Scruple says, "She usually does"
-Dror the Thugian, Scruple the Drag-al.

Sylk says, "Actually, I can't insult all of Taath's followers. Some are decent."
-Sylk the Secian.

Raiju says to Sarithiya, "And the fires in your eyes.. make me think of..."
Raiju says, "Leaving."
-Raiju the Leuian. Sarithiya the San Elf.

Laston says to Bags, "You're too short to take notice of."
Bags says, "I may be short but me mattock is not"
Laston says to Bags, "Put wings on you and you could be a Secian"
Shannia says to Laston, "Put a seat on ya head and you could be a privy"
-Laston the Leuian, Bags the Hithual, Shannia the Psycian.

Arianne says to Slade, "No... They only organize when they're trying to belittle someone."
-Arianne the San Elf, Slade the Psycian.

Aliyah says to Sormin, "Yes. You will look like a big foo foo casting Secian forgiveness"
Shivaya says, "It'll be called Sormin Love"
Sormin says to Aliyah, "It would not be the same spell if I had it"
Aliyah says to Sormin, "Maybe"
Sormin says, "I'm sure it would be closer to a sprite swarm.."
-Aliyah & Shivaya, Secians, Sormin the San Elf.

Gromnug exclaims, "Meh ets furteen trolls yestuhdeh!"
-Gromnug the Thugian.

Soyam asks, "What is with these female San elves kissing other female sans. Do they not realize this will only kill their species?"
-Soyam the Human.

Voskresenieye says to Ocinaiya, "I am not PEOPLE...I am GOLDE"
-Vosk the Dragon, Ocinaiya the Drag-al.

Cuervo asks Skrunk, "I can kick too. Does that make me a Deputy?"
-Cuervo the Drag-al, Skrunk the Go-blin-al.

Dugors says to Treyfalgar, "I'm showing you how to be Taathian"
-Dugors the Leuian, Treyfalgar the San Elf.

Zinash says in Leuian, "Lakar abounds it seems...I suppose I should just leave...before my own pride members that might be hiding in the shadows spy on me and catch me consorting""
-Zinash the Leuian.

"The Mermaid Chanty"

"When I come up from round the horn"
"I found a gal what makes me beam"
"She hold me in her"
"SUPPLE FLIPPERS!!"
"Darlin lady of my dreams!!!"
"MANATEE SWEET MANATEE!!"
"Your mustache bristles"
"TICKLE ME!!"
"In places no one"
"EVER SEES!!"
"My soft and lovin manatee"
"I found her bobbin in the surf"
"Her briny smile enchanted me"
"We hauled her up"
"And gave her LOVIN!!"
"A buoyant lass you would agree!!"
"MANATEE SWEET MANATEE!!"
"My buxom bovine from the sea!!"
"Oh won't you come and marry me!!"
"My warm and flaccid.."
"MANATEE!!!"

Nalpac says, "Learned that tale from an old Drag-al sea salt."
-Nalpac the Dragon.

Top

The Advocates

The Death of Religion in Spur

Those who, like me, follow closely the actions of Spur's secular authorities, are used to hearing deception, drivel, and downright blasphemy from these self-appointed representatives of popular will. Through long habit, the Governor, his Seneschal, and the City Council have become adept at usurping the rightful powers of Spur's temples, while posing as the protectors of all that Spurians hold most sacred. Yet in recent weeks they have surpassed themselves. If their current projects come to fruition, they bid fair to bring about the end of organized religious practice in Spur.

As all informed readers surely know, two of Spur's seven recognized religions now have no functioning temple in Spur. The Temple of Elindale has been reduced to ruins, and the Temple of Taath magickally sealed. A third Temple, that of Unknown, is menaced and appears to be on the verge of destruction. No clear link between the three occurrences is yet apparent, but all reasonable folk must presume that one exists.

The skeins of power and influence in Spur are tangled indeed, and few have a clear view of the entire picture. Yet when the relationship of certain well-known facts is examined, much becomes clear. Consider :

For some time, a movement has been rising in Spur which decries the abuse of secular power, and demands that the Temples, all the Temples, be accorded their rightful influence and privileges. The secular authorities are, quite naturally, steadfastly opposed.

When the City Council was formed, clerics were systematically excluded from membership. In response to widespread protest, the temples were invited to appoint nonvoting representatives who would be permitted to attend Council meetings. The representatives were duly selected, but none was ever permitted to attend any Council meetings. At least one such representative, that of Temple Taath, suddenly and mysteriously vanished immediately after his appointment.

The closure of Temple Taath by the Governor was not, as claimed, a response to Taathian lawlessness. Taathians, and those of most other Temples, have been lawless for as long as anyone can remember. It is quite clear that, by the arrest of Kyntavis for a trifling cause, the City acted to provoke the Taathians, so as to have an excuse to close the Temple.

The supposed crimes that resulted in the action against Taath's temple were primarily against Secians. The antagonism between Secians and Mu'ats is bitter and long-standing. In fact, the primary victim, Kyrinne, is one who has spoken out publicly against the Mu'at presence in the City government. Are we truly to believe that Lord Merlin cares so deeply about the fate of those who most despise his race?

The actions taken against Setites and Taathians by the Fir Elf Bounty Hunter Kazil are clearly lawless. Yet Kazil is still permitted to command the considerable resources of the City Guard. Could this occur without knowledge and approval at the very highest level--that is, the Governor himself?

While the cause of the destruction of Elindale's Temple is still unknown, as is the cause of the seeming threat to the Temple of Unknown, surely, in looking for the force behind these events, it is most logical to suspect the force KNOWN to be responsible for closing the Temple of Taath.

Our Governor, High Lord Merlin, worships no God and lays claim to absolute authority in Spur. The existence of powerful temples within Spur, advancing the causes of their respective gods, detracts from his power. Those who have followed his career know that Merlin has always striven, in the most resolute and indeed ruthless fashion, to remove such obstacles.

The handwriting on the wall is quite plain enough. Merlin is clearing all of the religions from Spur in order to remove all challenges to his secular power, and to tighten his stranglehold on the city. Industrious sheep that you are, I am sure most of you will pretend not to see this. The Lord Taath will smile as you reap the consequences of your foolishness.

-Foom

__________

The Fruits of Lawlessness

I have seen much violence since my arrival in this city. I spend my time wandering the streets, or standing far back in the shadows in Town Square. Day after day, night after night, I see cruelty and mayhem the likes of which I could never have imagined when I left my home in Saldaea.

And it is my duty to inform you that a disproportionate share of this violent criminal activity is carried out by Taathians. By my count, Taathians commit three of every ten murders in Spur, and six of every ten assaults. No other temple has quite such a record of brutality, though some approach it.

Therefore, I was not displeased to hear of High Lord Merlin's order closing the Taathian temple and subjecting the Taathian congregation to possible exile. I was not witness to the particular crimes that resulted in Merlin's order, but from the published descriptions they were extraordinarily cruel and horrific. Surely such transgressions merit swift and severe punishment, and surely our citizens will be safer once it is handed out.

And yet, upon reflection, I see a flaw in this line of thinking. I find the Taathian religion repugnant, and frankly dislike most Taathians I have met. Yet this is hardly the point. Only a handful of Taathians, as I understand, committed this act. But all Taathians are being punished for it. Granted, even those who are innocent in this instance are likely guilty of something else, but that has not yet been proven or even asserted.

It is, in the end, a matter of law. The laws of Spur provide for the punishment of Laston, Kyntavis, Lii, Nomel, Sarithiya, and all others who participated in this atrocity. Those laws do not, unless the term "at the discretion of the enforcer" be given an insupportably broad interpretation, provide for the punishment of individuals who did not participate in the crimes.

Lord Merlin, I beg you, let the criminals be taken to Execution Square, their heads lopped off, and their bodies tumbled into the Pit. This much is permitted and, in my humble opinion, long overdue. Such are the fruits of lawlessness. But do not punish the many for the crimes of the few. Let them earn their own punishments, as no doubt they will.

-Cicero

Top

News
Sarithiya Darklure

* The Temple of Taath remains locked with a drathain chain.

* Recently, Lii Dvo decided to beat down Dror the Thugian. One swift kick at Dror brought the mounted city guards of TSC upon him, however, they tried in vain to hit the angry Taathian cleric. Unfortunately for Lii, Dror bezerked, and with two sets of three quick and highly damaging swings finished Lii's life. Lii's ghost seemed to be staring in shock when he departed.

* You may speculate that Dror the Odarian Thugian and self-proclaimed Secian-lover is a force to be reckoned with, and certainly he is that. He is squire Dror, and woe the day for many a villian when he becomes a Knight of Spur (although there is no Knight presently to train him). As strong as Dror is, he recently died at the hands of Tuftor Spelmix the Frontacian, who is a runemage of Taath. Tuftor's keen ability to cast a spell put the Thugian in a sticky place, and soon afterwards the Barbarian had lost the battle with the Mage. Sources claim that Dror threatened to gather a group, including a "Secian to blue me" in order to hunt down Tuftor and kill him.

* Tuftor's sister, Satsuki, has arrived in town.

* Another juicy battle took place last night. Slade, Storz and Rytul prepared for battle in TS just mere moments before Rylek (who reportedly escaped from jail), Alya, and Sillo entered. It was brother against brother for a bit, with Sillo and Alya helping. Three against three was fair but Jezimai wanted in, so she conjured up some small arrows of flame and set them upon the flying Frontacian. Many minutes would pass as first one group, then the other would run away from the square then back in again. Soon several mounted city guards came in, so the fight quickly was moved to the east followed of course by several who wanted to observe the outcome. Other than exclaiming, "Chirp, chirp, chirp!" Rylek didn't have much to say. Although close to death, Alya cackled with glee as Rylek then began striking Foom. As Rytul began beating on Sillo, Stanrar began beating on a mugger so he wasn't just standing there. At this point there was more running as Alya fled the muggers, and everyone else ran back into TS, followed by Zinash who had took a swing at Rylek and missed. Once in TS Rylek wasted no time smacking Panick back with his claymore. Even Creon got involved, but failed when his claws missed. Zinash drug Rylek away but Rylek scampered back in and just stood there as Zinash again missed hitting him with his katari. Alya turned her attention to Zinash and he was soon knocked back with a loud crack of thunder. Time and again the battlers would leave TS only to return, still fighting. Clive even wanted a piece of the action, shooting his bow at Alya which struck deep within her leg. She stood as fast as she could and limped away followed by Slade and CO. Minutes later, Rylek reentered TS alone and pretty much ordered Orin, a young Human male to go with him. And while Panick and Ocinaiya told him not to, and don't go alone, he ignored them and went willingly with the insane elfling. They ended up in the passage way leading right to Temple Arioch. For several tense moments Rylek held a knife to Orin's throat. he, Alya, and Railt wanted free unrestricted passage to the southern gate and wanted to use Orin as the means to get there. But while everyone was bickering with everyone else, Rylek pulled the knife away from Orin's throat and took off down the tunnel alone. They were rumored to be heading towards the tent in the Southland's but I was not able to verify that. - Leyara Rin.

* Yesterday I sat in the tavern, mostly minding my own business, when a couple of Spurians sat down for a drink. I could not help overhearing a bit of their conversation, and decided to delve into my old scroll collection to see if what they spoke of was true. Lo and behold, it was! Normally I would not be moved to speak against Leuians, as I know all the citizens of our lovely city hold them in the highest regard, but the deadline was looming, and when your boss is a former assassin, deadline takes on an entirely new meaning. The oath of Khat'sara! Perhaps the most cherished tradition of Leuia, has been slandered. But by whom? It is interesting that the very Leuian who got her nose in a self-righteous twist is not only the adopted daughter of a Leuian who broke the oath, but one who has betrayed the oath herself! Your eyes deceive you not. Mala Tigerblood cheated on her Khat'sara, the Leuian formerly known as Scratch, no less than 3 times! Interestingly enough, Mala is not the first Leuian to have betrayed the oath. Her adoptive mother, Purrkinn, once Khatyr of the Spurian Pride, also had multiple Khat'sara! This reporter admits to being driven on by a slightly morbid curiosity. In addition to the wanton behavior of the Leuianess Mala, whom witnesses once saw walk into town square, kiss the Odarian Leuian Ambrose passionately on the lips, then run before anyone could comment, the very Leuianess who is often motivated to speak against the Pride, one Tygerlili Furbelly, has also indulged herself in multiple Khat'sara.

After digging a little deeper, this reporter discovered that after Tygerlili's first Khat'sara disappeared under mysterious circumstances, she decided to take a second Khat'sara. This union was blessed by none other than the visiting Clawmaster from Leuia, one Masai Whiteblaze, rumored to have taken a personal interest in seeing several older Leuians, including the former Khatyr Barra, run out of town. Later, Tygerlili's second Khat'sara disappeared, and she has since then (if rumors hold) that she has taken up with both the Leuian Saberus and the Leuian Thandril, though this reporter has been unable to find evidence supporting either rumor. Recently though her departed Khat'sara has returned. This reporter will update you as further information reaches Meetpoint.

This reporter, again out of curiosity, decided also to investigate another Leuianess who seems to have gotten her tail in a bunch over this matter, and as expected, uncovered a host of shady dealings. Most interestingly, the relationship between the Leuianess Selabeth and the dearly departed Human Talar. Talar apparently spent time with Selabeth, helping her with her common. Could perhaps Selabeth have decided to comfort Talar after his loss of the noble and wondrous Reason, Set keep her soul? Selabeth decided later to take after the Khit Reyilion, though the disparity between their ages is rather apparent. He was barely half-grown when they were first introduced. But rumor has it that Selabeth likes to be in control of her relationships. Reyilion has also undergone a change since being introduced to Selabeth. This reporter has heard regret in many voices over the relationship, as Reyilion's noble service to his deity, as well as his kindness to the downtrodden of Spur, seems to have suffered greatly. To quote one source "That Khit ain't acted with 'onor since that dang AGC lady took 'im to her bed." Curiouser and curiouser. This reporter plans to continue his investigation into these matters, as he has been informed by his employer that if he fails to turn in his next article on time he shall be buried in a shallow grave. - Anonymous Contributor

* It appears that Ichrialth, that ancient white skinned vampire has NOT left Rathan. He is alive and seemingly well in his private chambers. A friend of mine was able to get a quick look at him and the surroundings before fleeing. The room was cold and foreboding. Four huge gems surrounded a ghastly sight; a center pedestal that was made entirely of flesh and bone. Blacker then the darkest midnight, each gem pulsated as if it were alive, beating like a massive heart of some unknown beast. Pitch black shadows crawled along the smooth stone walls, advancing and retreating on their own accord. A giant carved stone throne sat farthest from the chambers entrance, it too was surrounded by things usually only seen in nightmares; rotting skulls and viscera material. The entire atmoshpere was hideous to behold. - Leyara Rin.

* There have been whispers that basically Kagee drove Arianne from Unknown recently. If you will recall that Tiger that had been seen around Spur at different times before followers of Unknown? Well several Unknown worshippers joked about it and treated that majestic creature like it was nothing more than a lowly pet, despite it being sent by their God. Kagee even was heard saying that she was going to put a collar on it and bring it home and give it milk of all things. Apparently Kagee was doing most of the joking out of the Unknown followers who were approached by this tiger and certainly was being the most disrespectful. This upset Arianne greatly and led to her leaving the faith. So, you see, it appears Kagee, a cleric of Unknown is driving worshippers away by her thoughtless acts. There are also some great underlying concerns that Kagee is also making a drive to become the HP of Temple Unknown. ~ Anonymous Contributor.

* A member of the high race recently was seen running desperately around Spur. He kept asking over and over again if his "Hunny" had left. He pronounced the word in a manner in which it almost seemed as if his tongue had gotten stuck on the back of his front teeth. I hope for her sake, she did. Imagine being thought of as that, much less as 'his'. Tsk. - Leyara Rin.

Top

As always, if you want to compliment, confide in, threaten, or to advertise anything at all, send us a scroll. Thanks for reading another mind-boggling but stimulating issue of our paper!

The Tribune Staff

10-03-2001