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Volume
3, Issue 3 Editor:
Leyara Rin Contents: We at the Tribune apologize for this being
published so late. Several circumstances came into play
that hindered this being completed sooner. But fear not!
This issue was worth the wait and we are sure you will be
pleased. And someone even sent a letter in! I swooned!
really I did!. Grab some ale, have a seat and feast your
eyes upon the third issue. To the fleshbag and furbag two-leggers
known as Sarithiya and Leyara; Assistant Editor and
Editor of the Aradath Tribune: You have dared insult me both in your
newspaper and in the Taathian Temple scroll-exchange. I
am not pleased. To the fleshbag Sarithiya, know this:
Arachnians know no fear. For the insult of calling me a
coward you deserve to be cooked medium well in the fires
you yourself conjure, and served on a serving platter at
an Arachnian feast. To the furbag two-legger known as Leyara,
for the insult of addressing me as a mere male, you
deserve to have your precious tail cut off and made into
flesh wine, although I doubt furbag flesh would be
suitable because of the difficulty in removing all the
hairs. The fact that I have sinned against my
Master and Lord are not your concern. I have made
arrangements to pay penance for my sins. If you are not
satisfied with them, you may take a flying leap off of
Spur's walls and into a pile of Thumper'a's droppings for
all I care. I answer to Taath Triumphant alone, not to a
furbag two-legger or a fleshbag two-legger. O ME TO FO --Lolth Eclavdran --Thaumaturge of the Brown Recluse Shaolin
Temple of Taath L.R. - Dare I say eek?!!!! Top
Fives Most Lady like Spurian 1. Nasci Here is something that will make you
chuckle or at the very least feel queasy. Nasci, a young
Leuian female, yes I said female, ripped the lead away
from Lilyth and Rich quite easily. It was a close vote
though. Alynia, Stanrar's wife, or friend or glow bunny
was seen as a Lady, and what would this list be without
Ambrose on it? The other male who has amazed travelers
from all over and wooed them with his proper eating
habits and feminine way of walking. I picture that and I
truly feel terror. Spurian most likely to confuse a rat for a family member. 1. Bushwig Another humorous topic. You want it? We
deliver. Bushwig, that little rascal who likes to drag
everything from slimy grubs to Cicada's into town took
top honors here. Delvanice, the only Secian that made it
on the list with enough votes is next followed by Dumb,
Laston the Leuian who is currently knitting some Hithual
booties, or socks or something is fourth, and Rylek - now
you see him, now you don't - Grey was a favorite..Isn't
he lucky. Biggest Braggart 1. Callik Callik, the loud mouthed, obnoxious, I
probably speak better inebriated IS the biggest braggart
the Spur has ever known, well one of the biggest anyway.
Changeman also got picked as a big jaw flapper and low
and behold! So did Guaire! What is the Spur coming to?
Kyntavis, still the owner of that fine, thick, alluring
'rug' is seen as a Brag. I wonder why. Kyrinne also is
seen by many as being a brag. Least Dangerous Spurian 1. Kyntavis Once again Kyntavis made it on our polls.
This time he got mentioned first. Surely someone must be
afraid of him! He might knock you down and do a nekkid
lobster dance on yah.He might put you in some contraption
and remove your teeth one by one. He might take that
lovely rug of his and wrap you up like a mummy even and
drag you off to Taath knows where! The Gobbie Eioto has
many seeing him as gentle as a ........hrm, smiling
child? Trinnity the Arachnian might gnash her teeth and
growl alot but too many, she is absolutely harmless. Good
for Aliyah! at least one Secian made it on here. Ambrose
is seen as a lady of course he would be considered not
dangerous! In my eyes they go hand in hand! Smartest Spurian 1. Changeman This was to be Goofiest Spurian but then I
got named way too many times so I switched it at the last
minute to smartest, and if you believe any of this
nonsense I pity you. Changeman, he ain't lady like but he
is a braggart, has still awed so many in the lands it was
only proper that he get mentioned at the top of this top
five list. Firanlen and Sadat, two Penthanians were next
and Syntrik a Psycian and once again Aliyah took their
rightful places in fourth and fifth. The Wood Be
Warriors Lovers of the forests stand up and plant!
Drop your bows and arrows and pick up a shovel or two.
Prepare to get muckety mucked up even! Oh my, I am
starting to sound like Callik. Fear me. The top of the
list here is belongs all to Joillin, hope he or she is
not too confident because Basah seems to be furiously
waving her bow right behind in second place. Swish, the
only Flerian in the top ten and top twenty is in the
three spot. Gide and Clive, the only Anthian and Drag-al
respectively are next. Eegads! a Human! How did a Human
get on here? Raised by wolves was he? I actually think he
was raised by kneebiters myself. In seventh place we have
yet another Firian, how predictable. In the eighth place
we have another Fir elf with 'wood' in their name.
Whoever can answer this next question will get a big
smile from me. What do you get when you mix a Ebonwood, a
Ravenswood, and a Tangleroot? A Tangledroseroot? An
Ebontangledwood? A Tangledrootwood? Do you even care?
Good, cause neither do I. Yulin is holding strong in
tenth place. 1. Joillin
Thorvern the Fir Elf Shandora's Box It never fades, the mystery
only grows stronger. The magick it holds within is never
depleted. Behold once again the box, Shandora's box.
Filled with wonder and mystery, striking awe and fear
into the unassuming traveler when they throw caution to
the wind and release the treasures once again. Cimerianna says to Furana, "I've
never seen someone bounce so high off of someone lying
down" Fiora says, "A foolish nature
can kill any thing." Callik says, "From where the
sun now stands, I will collect no more stuff , .....forever" Narcisuss says to Slepinfire,
"I am not a wrapped appetizer" Sapient says, "I think you
mortals are kooky in a queer sort of way." Guyver says to September, "Went
traveling for a bit, think I blew one too many cells" Sillo screams, "Shut your
hole!" Lal exclaims, "I am really
getting sick of that!" Marika says to Laston, "Hi
honey.." Bonapartian says, "Would you
be willing to do a favor for me" Vixen says to Kraggon, "I'm
sure you can find a girl in the AGC that needs some gold
and can do that for you." ~**Romani's
Love Wagon!**~ Smitten San with a little salt on top 'Tis' the moon, so long has it slept from thy eyes. Thee power draws upon me, hence my journey towards thee pulse. It lies waiting, searching for thy touch. Warmth fills thy palm, while staring at its splendor. A vision of a smitten Sanene startles me....... The muscular elf stares endlessly upon the empty air from which he came. His dark eyes flicker with contemplation, as they roll from one desire to another. With a deep inhale, power wins as it should. On parry, the exhale returns a disturbing feeling of loss. With a slightly fallen head, the confused Sanene travels towards the center of town. Rage building with every step, the loss prevails. Sickened with desire for her, maddened at his loss of careless indifference, he glides into the busy square. The flood of inquiries push upon him, the tension builds. The ponderance of her near death bellows forth into words of spite. The offended retaliate claiming their innocence, leaving no justice to his blackened heart. As the eve closed, a small piece of this dark elf awaits awakening. Leaving the injury buried for avoidance, his desire for power and wealth looms high. Such a peril, this one. Is it her power that draws him? What burrows in this Sanene's heart? Does a Sanene love or simply possess? The task has been set afore me, I am in search for the secret of romance in these cunning dark creatures. The orb remains upon my senses, it refuses release. My freedom lingers in the answers to these questions. I journey for the answers to this mysterious bond. Romani The Advocates Snakes vs. Vultures... It is by now a truth almost universally
accepted that the recent cataclysm and plague have much
improved the city of Spur. The old order, with its
dissolute aristocrats, its hypocritical Odarian "justice"
system, its stultifying social rigidity, and its legions
of swaggering bullies, has given way to the free flow of
chaos. The rich as well as the poor are now subject to
the exhilarating dangers of the untamed streets. Robbery,
murder, and vice are no longer artificially contained,
but infuse our days with purpose and reward. Leading this wild rush toward the joy of
chaos, naturally, have been the temples of Set and Taath.
The wily, irrepressible Snakes and the fearsome, pitiless
Vultures have become the icons and models of the new Spur.
Strangely, though, just as they rise to the ascendant,
the two dark temples find themselves sundered, the
creative tension between them poisoned by some unseen
hand and turned to open hostility. Taathians have been attacked for hunting
creatures the Setites hold as protected, and in turn
Setites have been slain for those attacks. Setites have
been accused of stealing sacred relics from Taath's
holiest precincts, and some slain for it. In return a
Taathian priest has been stripped, humiliated, and all
but killed. The Taathian relics have been found in
circumstances that on the surface seem to incriminate
Setites, and again Setites have been slain for it. What some will make of this is simply an
old and familiar tale--a falling out among thieves, a
fight amongst soldiers over the spoils of war. Others
will say it shows a fatal weakness in the dark temples, a
need for strife so powerful that it overcomes even our
own best interests. And there is, indeed, a seed of truth
in these claims. Setites and Taathians alike have been
vain and rash, have sought to prove their strength rather
than their judgment, their harshness rather than their
shrewdness. What they should have been doing, what it
still not too late for them to do, is this. They should
take a clear-eyed look at who benefits by the conflict
between them. Not Taathians, not Setites. They should remember who their true
enemies are. Not Setites, not Taathians. They should ask themselves if those
enemies are dead or only sleeping; beaten, or only in
hiding. The Odarians, the Drakes, the deluded rabble who
follow Unknown, even the vanquished temples of the Lords
of Chaos--these have ever been the enemies of Taath and
Set. Are they not now sniggering at the strife between
Snake and Vulture, and strengthening themselves in
seclusion, and doing all they can to sow and cultivate
the seeds of division? They are. Does the strife not
result in large part from their intrigues and
machinations? It does. And if the Setites and Taathians
are too slow in seeing it so, then sad to say, this
glorious epoch of chaos may end before it has truly begun. -Foom __________ This point/counterpoint
column is entitled the "advocates" or some such
nonsense. It is presumably intended by the producers of
this publication that my opponent and I advocate 'sides'
or positions with respect to recent events within the
context of divergent philosophies as practiced to greater
or less success by myself and a Cleric of Nonsense. My
colleague, Foom, "the Stoat", Thpptht, imagines
that she advocates chaos while I will be advocating order.
Idiotic as that sounds, she really believes it. Or, I
should say, if one were to say, "I propose that
chaos is good and order is bad," the Stoat would
commend you as wise. But,
I am already tipping my hand. She would, in fact, say
with a gleam in her muddied eye, that chaos is good. In
other words, she measures the state of the realms in
terms of good and evil, neato and awful, bad and rippin',
just like anybody else, it so happens that she thinks (wrongly)
that chaos is a fine thing. Therefore, whether this
simple fact can even be understood by the Shrew of Mud,
she is advocating evil, which she mistakenly calls good,
and I advocate the good. Unalloyed, unvarnished, pure
good, (not the nasty "good" you get in the
store with all those additives). Let
us begin with the obvious. Chaos and order are two states
of things which are morally inert. That is, two useful
descriptions referring to the state of things. Most of
the time Order is good, and occasionally bad. The
opposite is true of order. Highly ordered things are
mostly good. Take yer body, for example. It is a highly
ordered complex machine imbued with many magics, if it
were to fall to chaos, you would be in a bad way. Why
even my colleague, Thhpthht, is a highly ordered complex
piece of lovely machinery, unfortunately, she's bad. So,
from time to time, one finds that highly ordered things
are bad as heck! If Thhtthhppttt were to fall to chaos,
that would be GOOD! But,
for all her yappin' and yowlin' about how freakin' GREAT
chaos is, she remains in a highly ordered state of
existence! Of course, this makes her a simple hypocrite,
but she's Taathian, so we aren't surprised. I
nearly went on a raving there, excuse me. To the topic at
hand. Having been fighting in Emjedah for months, I'm not
up to date on the latest tomfoolery Spurians enjoy
practicing. So, Thhthhppt, naturally, in an effort to
torpedo my first ever column, has sent me half-truths and
wild theories regarding an unfortunate and, no doubt,
simple misunderstanding between two temples. Taath and
Set. And, given the salacious rumors she sent me about
this trouble, I am encouraged to advocate the Good with
respect to this pranksterism. The
Nagas are right, the temples are wrong. It's that simple.
The Nagas were used as unfortunate foils to advance the
career of one Taathian power grubbing cleric and advance
the reputation of several Setite thieves. Whether as
Thhttpppttt speculates, these "troubles" were
organized by a third party is largely irrelevant. The
fact of the matter is, a piece of cheese was to be had
and the rats scrambled. And
who suffered? The Taathians lost a painting or two (temporarily),
the Setites gained gold. The Nagas were slaughtered and
butchered by both sides (more so by Taathians, it must be
admitted). Spurians
of all stripes have been happily killing Nagas for years.
Suddenly, the Setites are outraged! The Taathians in
question who "hunted" nagas were doing what
adventurers of all faiths have done. That is, kill Nagas
and take their treasure. But, for some reason, this time,
the Setites were gonna do something about it, despite the
fact that plenty of Setites have been killing Nagas
themselves. I
could go on about the later events of Setites teaching
the bad ole Taathians a lesson, how the Taathians
retaliated, etc. But, the fact of the matter is neither
side has been loyal to their faith. Ordinarily, that
would be bad. But, since loyalty and fealty are foreign
concepts to these lunatics, we can rest happy in the
knowledge that while these maniacs kill the bejesus out
of each other, Good is increased in the world. I
must apologize for the brevity of my column as none of
the bums who run this paper told me when this column was
to be written, further damaging my chances of success.
That's right, gentle reader! Not only has Thhtpptt not
given me all of the facts regarding the Nagas matter, but
the staff of the Tribune gave me this assignment and told
me yesterday, for the first time, that this column was
due in yesterday! I
have faith in you, gentle reader. If you want this column
to continue despite the underhanded efforts of some who
are employed by or own the Tribune, please write. And,
don't be afraid to accuse the staff here of lying and
scurrilous deeds, there's plenty of it. Submitted by Callik, the Good The 'TG' Files
Case # 0147 The day started off a slow one. My partner
Sulky, a female Leuian Bard of little importance, had
just returned from the troll caves on a case of a
sighting of a big ugly monster. Turned out of course to
be nothing more then a very ugly troll. Who would have
thought youd find an ugly troll, in the troll cave.
Anyway, so we had just finished the case, and needed to
get in some practice, so of course we headed over to the
arena to battle with a sparring partner. In mid-swing I
got an urgent ESP, which begins this case, the case of
"The Howling Monster!" Sulky
asks, "What is it Detective Xtazir?" [Training Grounds] This
room is illuminated. Klickityclack
chitters, "Look its Xtazir the famous TG
Detective!" (Drawindirt
scratches, Of course its Xtazir the famous TG
Detective! I had Beacon glow me, so that I could ESP him,
with a very urgent message, so he would come and....) (Drawindirt
scratches, see Howler, and hopefully help him out,
because really its getting annoying listening to
that thing, whatever it is howl like that, so duh!) Xtazir
glances down and walks all around the area reading the
book that Drawindirt just wrote. Xtazir
exclaims to Drawindirt, "Thats simply amazing!" (Everyone
clapped and cheered here, especially Pesterall, so Ill
save you the horror of seeing it.) Niebo
bows to Xtazir. Xtazir
murmurs "Or to beat you into a bloody pulp, and
leave you for dead someplace, while taking all your
worldly belongings and giving them to me. Niebo
asks, "What was that.. you sorta trailed at the end
there?" Thus
brings us to the end of the case file 0147, "The
Howling Monster" Perhaps now, we can get some good
practice in, and maybe even a little rest. That is of
course, until the next, "TG" File!" Detective
Xtazir Note: All names and events might be
false, any names resembling these are horrible. You should slap your parents and pick new ones, and
thanks for reading!
News The 7th Day of the 10th Month of the Year
311 Spur's clocktower is surrounded by an
impenetrable glowing barrier of crimson energy, the mark
of Evoloch glistening upon it. Tendrils of this crimson
energy field snake around the structure, striking the
ground. The energy is powerful and disorienting, making
anyone who stands near it lose their sense of time. Many
may believe, in light of the current events, that the
energy barrier has been placed there by the Muatana-al
Lord Maloveous himself, who had been seen in Spur
immediately following the crisis in Saldaea. However,
there is word that an extremely powerful Sanene mage by
the name of Malzor is responsible for its ominous
presence. It is believed that Malzor and Maloveous are
powerful rivals wrestling one another for the favor of
Evoloch. Malzor seized the clocktower and sealed it off,
locking time-altering magick within it the day after the
events in Saldaea. This was the very same day Maloveous
was seen in Spur. Not all magickal items were dropped and
left with Maloveous on the recent adventure to Saldaea.
Rylek Grey claims that he returned with one glowing green
ring, that when bound magickly will slow the target. Last evening vultures descended upon Town
Square Central, as Taathians gathered within their temple.
Several followers of Taath had been privately visited
upon by vultures who had left them each with a large
black feather. A grey and black feather was dropped at
the altar. Flower Firslayer said, "Only ancient
vultures turn grey, and ancient vultures are special
minions of Taath." Considered a powerful omen from Taath
Himself, followers immediately congregrated and awaited a
sign. Ward Marlon entered the temple carrying vulture
feathers, claiming that sacred birds had been
slaughtered, angering many of the Taathians. A lone
vulture then arrived within the central chamber of the
temple. Followers tried to speak with the bird,
attempting to communicate with it. Star-eyed Tale'sedrin
exclaimed, "Hear me! Lead us, for we would know what
is expected of us!" Bushwig Bill said, "Yuz dum liztin to
ah burd". A few minutes later, the small vulture
walked ungracefully over to where Bushwig stood. It
screeched loudly, gaining the attention of all who
watched. The vulture pecked at Bushwig's stubby green-tinted
hand, reopening a wound. Bushwig is a small Go-blin-al,
and did not stand much taller than the vulture. The
vulture licked greedily at Bushwig's hand, a rivulet of
blood dripping off of its hungry beak. This event was
taken as the awaited sign, and the anger that had
simmered in the Taathians only minutes before began to
boil into venomous hatred and violence. Lii Dvo said,
"We have been blessed. Let us begin." Li Dvo
led the congregation to Town Square, and given his hasty
departure, whether he left before the entire message was
given by Taath is up for debate. The Taathian war party arrived in TSC,
filled with bloodlust and a thirst for revenge. Several
unknown Spurians had left vulture corpses laying all over
the grounds of Town Square. Vulture screeches rattled
people's ears. More vultures arrived, flying quietly and
peacefully into the area. Nalpac the Draco sat in the
Town Square Central, and perhaps as provocation
proclaimed, "They are only birds". Then the
fighting began. Not long after, a Go-blin archer arrived,
firing his first arrow at Aliyah, who happened to be
working very hard to keep Nalpac alive. City guard mages
arrived, attempting fruitlessly to halt the violence.
Then skeletal mages arrived in chaotic droves. There was
violence, but not an excess amount of it. A surprising
number of people survived the battle, though there were
some deaths. After the carnage, Bags Bluebeard said,
"A flock of vultures...started to appear in town
square. A group of 5 then 6 more, till der was over 21
one of em. We were more worried bout droppings den
attacks at the time. We, me kyn an I ...said was a sign
of sorts..not an attack. Den dat dragon started to attack
em...it was quick an bloody. An dey had no chance. Nalpac
was the only Dragon in the square." Another witness
claimed that Ambrose and Wildthunder also slaughtered the
vultures, and that Kyrinne had assisted them, even trying
to strip the vultures of their feathers afterwards. When
questioned Kyrinne replied "Was a Taathian attacking
someone else I think and then the melee started". Rosi
Corinth the Secian said, "I cannot remember who
killed what, the blades and claws and beaks were too fast
a-flying." Rosi was later implicated in the death of
a Go-blin archer and accused of murder. Scouts searched
for her throughout the city. She was questioned in
private within the Traveler's Hostel by a mounted city
guard. The Tribune had the special opportunity to attend
the interrogation. Mounted
City Guard: Do you know the charges against you? The two
witnesses implicating Rosi in the murder charge referred
to by the mounted city guard were Stanrar Mandor and
Ranier the Usil Elf. Rosi was
present in TSC today. When asked if she had any more
problems with the city guard, Rosi responded, "No,
they did apologize heartily though". Ads Kraggon the Hithual is seeking some participants for his upcoming wet tunic contest. Anyone of any race is encouraged to apply. Preferably female. Find him in the realms for auditions. A small pittance is all he asks for entering. Ale is also greedily accepted. As always, if you want to compliment, confide in, threaten, or to advertise anything at all, send us a scroll. Thanks for reading another mind-boggling but stimulating issue of our paper! The Tribune Staff |
04-06-2001