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Volume 2, Issue 9 Editor: Leyara Rin Contents: 1.) A few words from the Editor Welcome to our next grand issue. I want to thank Karma for taking on and handling this when I was on my vacation. I also want to thank the rest of the staff for keeping things alive, and also any Spurians that contributed. Sarithiya has joined the staff and will be handling all the news, or anything of interest that occurs in Spur or the near by cities. There is also a new column that is being introduced here, the person in charge of it goes by the name of Romani, a sly, supposedly all knowing lass of mystical powers with her Orb of Fog being yearned for by the occasional darker side of our society or by the wealthier individuals of lesser known lands. The Orb was once part of a kings ransom and only she knows the location, not even willing to share its location with me. Rise of the Classes For this issue we are featuring the Psion's guild, otherwards known as the Eternal House of Glowiness. Sordum is still in the number one spot, followed by Morpheus and two more Psycians. So Nixtalis, how much do you weigh now? September is next in the fifth spot and Charlette, an Arachnian that curls my fur at the mere sound of her name being mentioned is next. Savvy and the Desert Prince take the seventh and eighth places, and in ninth we have yet another Arachnian...May Rinanni help anyone in their path if they ever decide to go on a rampage. Hesseth is after Mestoffa in the tenth place.
1. Sordum Corinth the Psycian
1. Bushwig Is it any wonder that four of the five people who got named here are Go-blin-al's? I dare say they could start their own group and use names such as 'The Stench Club, Club of the Noxious Gas, or the 'No Fresh Air Here Club' if none of those appeal to the little stinkies, maybe they can just call themselves the 'Nasty Vapors' or simply *GASP* which stands for Gobbies Are Stink Pots.' Poor Banath, he does seem to have a habit of drinking himself into oblivion repeatedly in Town Square, but why must he always pollute the place with the contents of his stomach? It never ends! If the sight of these five unlucky individuals won't turn your stomach the smell certainly will.
1. Canaris Put your eating utensils away for now folks! These future fixins aren't quite done yet. If Canaris ends up on anyone's plate I hope they basted him real good first, I am afraid the meat on his bones might be a little on the dry side.Now Lemmy.....I don't even think she would be edible, basted or not. Unless someone has very strong jaws and plenty of time on their hands I wouldn't tempt eating a Flerian because you will be chewing the stringy meat for several hours at least. You won't even need a spoon or fork for the next two on this list, Demeralda and Ephinia.Just find a large barrel, add your carrots, potatoes, the Secians, and any other seasonings you like, then have a Thugian shake it around vigorously for a few minutes. And there you have it! Secian stew! Last but not least we have Jazbo, surely to be called, 'Mr. I am made of Gristle' and nothing else. His kind is not at all edible and you might just strangle to death trying to get the stuff down your throat.
1. Tygerlili Tygerlili, the Prelate of Rinanni of course got named, she was a favorite not only from other Rinannians but by many other Spurians. The four others that made the list are all Secians, and NO, they are not on the menu at the Rose Eternal..... yet.
1. Callik What is Callik's weapon of choice lately? a sharp? a blunt? an arrow? or could it be his never to be stilled tongue? I truly think that one day he will once again bite off more than he can chew, but this time it will be his tongue and he will simply cease to exist. What can one say about Dacraw the Newt? I hope for his sake he hasn't sharpened his toothpick size dagger recently or he might trip and impale himself on it. With her runes sometimes getting the best of her, the only way I can see Demeralda expiring this way is if she, while preparing to translocate away, somehow transes half of her body to Tanga and the other half to Saldaea. Any third stage Dragon who's ego grows so large and they become so top heavy that they keep falling from the sky, eventually bashing themselves to death on the ground.
1. Hawksrat Lets see here, we have Hawksrat, the oddly named Hithual who begs for ale and a few other things I won't mention here. Dragonman who begs the whole of Spur for its attention. Jumble, the ex-Leuian Locksmith who begged in vain to be accepted by the oh so perfect Pride, but as it always goes, they turned their noses up at her probably as much for the way she speaks, as for the profession she once had. Then we have Kissinda, a cleric, who was in the Pride and due to her lies and unhonorable like behavior and actions got thrown out. I will not say anything on what type of begging I think she was doing cause she might put a price out on my head. Finally we have Moonsilver, who begged to fall under the direction of the Muatana-al named Lilly. *The information contained within does not necessarily reflect the opinions of the Spurian Spectator Staff. Although we are within rights to laugh uproariously at the content. Changeman's Vault :::With the lowering of taxes on armor and weapons, hoards of new adventurers arrive in Spur. Waiting at the docks some meet a dark skinned Human City official with a friendly smile, who shakes their hand and officially welcomes them to the world's greatest city. By the time the adventurers realize they've paid a new sort of tax, the city official has mysteriously vanished. At the Rose Eternal a Sanene Outlaw enters, removing fake rounded ears and scraping putty off his chin. He tosses the proprietor a bag of ill gotten gold and begins spreading scrolls all over tables, trying to choose the best quotes for his readers.::: Salutations and welcome to my vault, where many Spurians put their foot in their mouth or their tongue in their cheek. These are times of great change, but I'll still be here, doing my best to entertain you with Spurian quotes. If you like this column, then please please help it continue on for centuries. If you hear a Spurian say something hilarious, dramatic, egotistical, important, impressive, or just plain moronic, then please send it to me at Stlkerazzi in the poor quarter or through my editor. I especially like quotes of what people are saying in various racial languages. It helps if you write in standard black ink, like I'm using now, and if you include the race and profession of the speakers. Also, it doesn't have to be current. If you have great quotes hidden away on old scrolls then by all means send em in! Many thanks and a mug of Meq's finest ale to Masher, Vixen, Aliyah, Leyara, Reason, AKA the runt, and Jumble. You people are keeping me in this job. Graymalkin says to Oake, "Lucky I don't call a justice on ya for searchin
Zackie..." Konichiwa says, "For me it's fun." Litorth says, "Is it true that the First Warder wears women's clothes?" Stanrar's group entered from the Northwest. Danecker asks, "I will buff my weapon before I use it on ya next time.. will
that please ya?" Cagliostro says to Nalpac, "There are also many more rats than there are
Dragons, but I doubt you would call the first more majestic." Sarithiya says to Silvermane, "Great things come in Small packages." Random says to Shivaya, "Don't tell anyone I'm eating on the job." Jinood says, "De mood in here is more nasty den a tub of rotten butter." Danecker says, "I find my class getting the best of me.. I will be reduced to
grunting like an Oog before long" Chasdity asks Renthran, "No see, How could I marry someone that went around
biting people?" The governor's guard says to Vost, "Nae a law against chewin' tobaccy." Bael says, "Honorable Leuian precept #631b. Scream for aid from anyone you
vaguely recognize." Belen says, "Have you ever wondered..." Veridian says to Keaweone, "We've been looking for you." Greetings Spurian Love Demons. Romani has come t' clean thee litter of yer scattered hearts and set right ones passage to eternal romance. When moonlight falls on the land, the fog will clear. Secrets of ones
own are revealed to the chosen eye. Whether love, rage, revenge, or the
smallest quest of desire, a restless sea calls to my dry senses for the
thirst to be met. If you are thirsty, your time has come. Make amends with
your soul and bring kindly your questions to the Orb. Romani As Moloch continues his attempts at breaking open the notorious rift, some Spurian citizens are feeling the instability. The doldrums of peace and security have been squashed! In the weeks ahead we can expect religious fervor, some small riots laced with senseless killings, and what Twilight Flutal has referred to as "full moon madness". Already Callik Alittlewiser has been seen around town shouting "DOOM!" at the top of his lungs, displaying his true colors in a splendid show. Followers of Moloch have drifted through TSC on occasion to share their viewpoints and endure bitter stares and accusatory remarks from Spurian citizens. Viath the Human tried to present himself as a do-gooder. Although it was a valiant effort, he failed to convince those present in TSC of his intentions. Viath's physical appearance is marked by grotesque pale green eyes and a shiny bald noggin. Medares the Usil Elf Sage has been chosen as the "Guardian". There have been claims that the last Guardian has passed away, and Medares has taken it's place. There have also been claims that the Guardians were the ones that, in the past, had shown Taath how to trap Moloch in his current plane of existence. Not everyone is happy with the placement of Medares, a common Usil sage who's character has been questioned ever since he had become trapped in Moloch's plane, only to escape, and return "acting strangely". Some people wonder about his rise on a pedestal where only "ancients" supposedly belong. In the words of Vixen Vivacious, "The sage only seems to deal with people who are well liked and have titles in this city. I don't like him nor trust him one bit." How sagely can it be to turn a cold shoulder on so many important citizens who most likely have something valuable to contribute? Is he really our saviour or could he possibly be the pied piper of death? There are mixed feelings among the citizens as to our fate. When asked if he had any thoughts on the possibility of impending death, Archmage Crow Amalasan only shrugged and said, "I'm not worried." Dosad, a priest of Odarous, offered his religious opinion. He said, "I hope it won't come to that (death), and I'll trust Odarous to take my soul if it does." His concern is shared by many others. Ascert the Flerian was recently seen in TSC with his dead squirrel. He cuddled with it and danced with it. Obviously very attached to this squirrel and harming no one, he felt safe standing amongst the crowd with it. Sir Stanrar Mandor and Madam Kagee Predator whispered something to one another, Stanrar disarmed Ascerts squirrel, it fell to the ground whereupon Kagee picked it up and handed it to Lady Demeralda Asmeron. Demeralda is a Secian, and despite Ascerts many desperate pleas to have his cherished squirrel returned to him, she decided the squirrel was best off buried in the park. Her response to the accusation of her stealing the squirrel? She said, "I didn't steal the squirrel. It was given to me." Lady Demeralda gave Ascert gold as compensation, but Ascert only wanted his squirrel. Thievery has many faces. When Madam Kagee Predator attacked him, Lady Demeralda used a spell to speed up the San Elf. How much has the move to Unknown affected Lady Demeralda? What more will the future reveal? It was also reported that Lady Demeralda Asmeron pushed Athern the Anthian down while he was 35 feet in the air. He broke his arm. It damaged his armor. Perhaps what is most disturbing about this incidence is not the ill intent of the Secian, but the fact that Athern was speaking to a Justice at the time. Athern even pressed charges right there and then! Semper was standing witness to all of this, and yet allowed Lady Demeralda to walk away, smiling and free. Estheclisticran Merandinae, a Taathian Go-blin-al, was wrongfully arrested and thrown in jail by two flying dread knights. Although she allegedly assaulted another, it was in an agreed upon duel with a fellow Taathian and well within the laws of Odarous, as stated by the Justice Pure in his meeting sponsored by the OSL. Estheclisticran was given no chance to defend herself through explanation, nor (once locked up) was she given any word of how long she was to be imprisoned. Are those who have important titles given lawful leeway far too often, even in the face of evidence, while the young and the poor are unfairly persecuted? Are we at the point where Ladies and Sirs of Spur can laugh while they kill or harm, and smugly shrug off any punishment? Are flying dread knights becoming nothing more than Odarian thugs? Are the Justices privy to letting justice slide all to often? Perhaps the Justice of Spur should be renamed, for all to often what is observed is the Injustice of Spur. On a lighter note, Vrice the drake has been very flirtatious with the jail-gobbie herself, known for her flagrant announcements that she has a private room at the AGC. They are a....uh, cute couple. Good luck to them both, if Estheclistacran can keep herself out of the slammer. Rictor and Cobraking have become the dynamic drunk duo and if you enjoy watching hithuals punch each other, and belch and breathe on those around them, it's halfway decent free entertainment. Lastly, watch the secians around town very closely. Last week the flitter of iridescent Secian wings died down and there amongst them, with a pair of his own, was none other than Bushwig in all his glory. Until next time! As always, if you want to compliment, confide in, threaten, or to advertise anything reasonable or not, send us a scroll. Thanks for reading another mind-boggling but stimulating issue of the Spectator! The Spectator Staff |