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Volume 2, Issue 7 Editor: Leyara Rin Contents: 1.) A few words from the Assistant Editor As you might have or might have not already heard, I am officially in charge of what you read until Leyara's return. Unfortunately, I have absolutely no idea when she's going to be back from her long-deserved vacation, so until she does, you're stuck with Karma-brand Spectators. Rise of the Classes This issue's Rise of the Classes features the Barbarian's guild, with the musical and sneaky Smakem as the Guild Master. The Taathian Barracuda is close behind, with the kitten-eating, ex head of the Knight's Council not far off at third. 1. Smakem Buckhanna the Thugian The Top Fives Most Childbearing Spurian 1. Purrkinn Surprisingly, 4 out of the 5 most childbearing citizens of Spur are Leuians. Since they're all related, wouldn't that be inbreeding? Purrkinn, bearer of the many Offaces, tops off the list, Sweetie, with her huge hips to prove her proud childbearing days is second, with just about every cousin's cousin of a Leuian behind. Most likely to have songs created in their honor 1. Meqetlh Only the most valiant, noteworthy, or just extremely annoying Spurians were voted for in this category of people most likely to be sung about long after we're all dead. The former two most active Council Knights head the list, followed by everyone's favorite Drag-al Panick, wet tunic contest Kraggon, and the former extremely apathetic Pride Knight Jedaka. Most Leuian-like Tarr Khat 1. Barra Leading up the list of the most honorable and prissy Tarr'khats around is, of course, the outspoken ex-Khatyr of the Spurian Pride. I guess all the criticizing and insulting everyone else's honor, or lackthereof, makes him just as much Leuian, if not more, than he used to be. Following him are Leyara and myself, who are both equally insulted. Rother, the soulless, following, and "I was married to a Secian, and I'm not really a Tarr'khat" Lathan, close behind. Most likely to be a Martyr 1. Sillo With more than half of the votes for this category Secians, I'm not sure whether people voted for them because they're most likely to give their lives to save the rest of us, or because people just want them to die. In any case, the recent bad turned good Anthian Sillo won this title, followed by the slightly pompous High Priestess of Sa, Kyrinne, with Rosalie, the High Priestess of Unknown, and Oake trailing behind. Most Antisocial Drag-al 1. Tony The most unfriendly mini-dragons in Spur, according to you all. Tony, the incredibly old Taathian fighter named appropriately as first, followed by Zabira, Jajang, one of the holders of the coveted seats at the Rose Eternal Tavern, everyone's favorite interviewer Greolin, and Cuervo, the not-so sneaky thief. Changeman's Vault :::A Sanene burglar lurks at the edge of town square center, watching Taathians killing adventurers from a safe distance. The play of emotions on his face is strange and hard to read. You can't tell if he's greatly amused, greatly saddened, or both. He motions you to follow and leads you to a shack in the poor quarter that is overflowing with scrolls, then proudly shows you his favorite quotes.:: Hello! Thank you for visiting me at my treasure house of words, where nothing is sacred. Well, it was incredibly hard to let everyone do my work for me, but somehow I managed through another column. Keep sending em in people! If you hear a Spurian say anything interesting, poetic, funny, wise, memorable, or just plain stupid, please send it to me at Stlkerazzi in the poor quarter. It helps if it's written in standard black ink and if you include the race and profession of the people speaking. My deepest thanks and a big wet sloppy kiss from Sweetie to Rictor, Vesta, Rosalie, Oake, Karma, Leyara, and as always my runt sister Reason, who always saves my black butt at deadline time. Enjoy! Anvil says, "Well, I'm off to drink myself into a stupor and fantasize about
Kagee." 'I am through with you Taathians.' Oakleaf says to Reason, "I can't believe this is just an orphanage." Banath says, "I'm dead sexy." Valphein says to Thono, "You have no idea what it means to be khat'sara'd,
yet you talk like you do" Demeralda exclaims, "Eww, watch the vomit!" Salla readied a braided leather bone handled whip. Mitka readied an emerald-hilted steel meat cleaver.
Rotigus asks Stanrar, "Do you have any money you wish to give to the poor?" Reason says to Headflinger, "You need a diet." Sweetie asks, "Can't a mother kill her daughter in peace?" Valphein asks Zuberi, "Could you imagine a life without Jazmyn?" Creazor accepted Nwfandi's offer. Sweetie says to Headflinger, "Hush before I bloody tear off your reproducing
organs." Silvery says to Stanrar, "Vilken says your a wimp" [Shivaya (link)]: "May the Moo be with you" [Domenick (link)]: "OInk" [Flernor (link)]: "ahhh I'm bein torued trapped in a tiny room with 3 female
Secian that poke me" The Advocates When the Taathian sorceress Aiena perished recently, Spur lost one of its most colorful and controversial personalities. Many hated the stout Sanene, some admired her, but almost everyone who witnessed one of her rare visits to town came away with vivid memories. This month our Advocates share their rather different interpretations of the would-be goddess. Foom: "The Spurian reaction to the death of Aiena serves as yet another example (not that any is needed!) of the shameless disregard that Spur's powerful have both for the truth and for the citizens of the City. Every truth is twisted, every event subtly recast, to serve the rich, the bullies, the dragons, the Lords and Ladies. And Aiena, who should be a heroine to this city, is depicted, even in her moment of triumph and noble self-sacrifice, as a villain and a traitor. Now it is certainly true that Aiena was a complex personality, an ancient enigma that none fully understood. At times some of her actions have seemed self-serving or duplicitous, as when she inexplicably failed to defeat the army of the Lords of Chaos, thus bringing about the invasion and occupation of the city. But when one is 600 years old, it's only to be expected that one's actions should be subtle and circuitous. Always, in the end, Aiena's strategies have paid off for Taath, and this city has been the better for it. In her final days, some allege, Aiena betrayed Taath, attempting to set herself up as a rival goddess. Completely untrue. Had she survived, Aiena would have continued in her role as Taath's disciple and protegee. Her ascension to divinity was a necessary step in order for her to wrest control of Magick from the incompetent God Sa, who for eons had refused to allow true power to his followers. Sadly, Aiena perished, but in so doing she was at least able to cleanse the Magick of the world, and in large part pull it free of the greedy clutches of dragonkind. We all have Aiena to thank for this greatly improved Magick. And yet the powers that be, for their own petty and selfish reasons, refuse to give credit to one who, if not a goddess, should at the very least be considered a Saint." Meqetlh: "Magick had been on the decline for quite some time, from at least the time of the forging of the Grey, if not since the release of the Unmagick itself. It is clear that some of Sa's power was trapped in the Grey. Aiena was able to take advantage of this weakness. After ascending to godhood, she struck at Sa. The other gods did not get involved, although I understand Taath did block a move by the Grey to aid Sa during that first battle. Sa is magick, magick is Sa. As Sa weakened further from the strain of his battle, the power of runemagick also weakened, until folks could no longer cast even the simplest of spells. After a hard fought battle, Aiena won. After several days, Kralen, finally accepts his destiny, puts aside his bitterness that Sa did not allow him to rule the temple 200 years ago, and draws out the grey pearl broadsword from the fountain. The Grey is finally once again complete. This of course gets Aiena's attention, and she appears in town square. Kralen breaks the grey pearl broadsword, releasing magicks within that have been trapped since its forging. Aiena aged at an incredibly fast rate right before our eyes, the goddess was slain! Kralen's task was finally done after 200 years, and he returned to Sa. So what is the lasting impact of those fate-filled days? Taath's 'Black Queen,' his most powerful agent is no more. This can only leave Taath weakened, although he has recovered from worse setbacks than this. Sa's weakness is gone, if anything, magick continues to slowly grow stronger, although it still remains as unreliable as ever. Historically, Sa has been the most powerful of the gods. Will he regain that dominance of old? Only News Well well, watchful eyes in the shadows have seen quite a few things that have shocked, but nothing like this! My sources tell me seems Sir Stanrar and Madam Kagee have been spending an awful lot of time together lately, and have even been spotted having secret trysts in various states of undress! My my, what has this world come to? And what of Sir Stanrar's wife? Why does she put up with this? Is she scared? Or merely tolerating it? And could this possibly be the cause of Sir Stanrar's attitude change over the last few months? He certainly has seemed to become less and less of the smilin Stanrar and more and more of the Snarlin Stanrar... Anyway, just an old snoops hunch, but with the clothes flyin and the temperatures risin, I think we can all see what's goin on here.... I bet all of you thought you're safe. Unfortunately, if you once were, you're no longer. With Balor appointed the new High Priest of temple Taath in place of Grachus, Spurians apparently have something new to fear going to bed everynight: an angry mob of Taathians storming TSC and killing people at random, which is just what happened a day or two ago. A large group of Taathians including Borus, Tony, Lathe, Balor and Vilken marched around town, killing Benni, Jinood, Rictor, Jalpae, and other unnamed Spurians in an attempt to "strike the fear of Taath into their hearts", as one Taathian claimed. A Justice was called, but to my understanding, no arrests have yet been made. It's that time of year again! Essence hunters are running wild, and Dragons are staging left and right. The most notable staging was Depravato, who staged into a seventeen foot tall third stage Dragon with the assistance of his Secian, Kyrinne. Other reported recent stagings were Grayse and Syai. My sympathies to all the other Spurians for the extra ego and dragon about. As always, to advertise anything reasonable, send us a scroll. Thanks for reading another mind-stimulating issue of the Spectator! The Spectator Staff |