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Volume 2, Issue 3 Editor: Leyara Rin Contents: 1.) A few words from the Editor. Well here we are again. In this issue we have a run down of the Bards guild, the top fives which will surely give you a laugh or worse case scenario, cry even. Many funny quotes, results of the Pet sale during the most recent peddle, a little bit of this and a little bit of that, something for all who are brave enough to read this. Plus there is an interview I think you will all enjoy. Rise of the Classes For this issue we have the Guild of poets, of song writers, the great Bards of Spur. Who can, with their talents write words that can stir your soul and bring a tear to your eye or just as easily a smile to your face with funny songs such as the Ballad of Windfury. Such a shame there are only twenty of them currently in this town. In the number one spot we have Marigold, a Bard through and through or so I have heard, but what I really want to know is has she ever recited a poem after having downed a tankard or two? Next we have Narc, one of the three Flerians that are currently on the list and who so far has eluded the cooking pots and teeth of Michael'a and all the other Dragons who have a hankering for Flerian meat. Xren, the only San Elf on the list, has the third spot and doesn't seem to have a thing to worry about with the Usil Elf Cria next in line. Lia is in the fourth spot but doesn't look like she will be there for long with Vankar nipping at her, um wings? But he should take note for Sei Lichlord is not giving me the impression that he is messing around in the slightest. Jaesmyne, one of Alazam's assistants is next followed by a Human named Moonsilver, and the second of three Flerian's on the list, Elya has the number ten spot but looks to be barely holding on.
1. Marigold Lyrian the Drag-al The Top Fives
1. Banath Do you all think that maybe the Grinner grins so much because deep down he knows he annoys us all at these peddles and inside is quietly rejoicing? Nah, not our beloved grinner! Next we have Kithrael, I just wonder which of them would out whine the other if they were both stuck somewhere with no way out. Aliyah, Spur's fashion consultant made the list as did Altyerre, with Becks in the last spot.
1. Changeman Whether it be by ones who live in the shadows, faces that reveal no emotion, someone that walks by you with a curt nod in your direction, Spur is full of many secretive souls, but the ones up above for many reasons made the list. Changeman, that elusive San with more masks I thought possible made the number 1 spot. Crow, an individual who seems fairly quiet, but also incredible focused, was next followed by Grachus, Lord and High Priest of the Taathian temple. Quite infuriating how he dismisses half of us with a wave of the hand and gives a simple nod to the rest before walking away..Grrr! Ariakasterrende, the oh so quiet Leuian, but who gets his point across anyway was next, and Artemisia got the number 5 spot.
1. Kagee Here is where the fun begins. I think, no I know beneath their supposed polite exterior they are most likely demons in disguise.. Their cold and calculating ways might make them seem polite but come on, we know better don't we? Kagee took the number 1 spot, I hope she is more amused than offended by this..Snurd came in right after her, followed by my friend Avea...Avtar and Bestioun round off the list in the 4th and 5th spots.
1. Callik Yes, hard to believe but it is true! So says the Spurians that voted! Callik the Firian who I am sure wouldn't mind if my mouth were to permanently close took top billing here. Oakleaf, that occasionally obsessed Fir who's one and only goal is to see Changeman and or a few others of us (gasp) dead was next followed by Grath and Corrin.
1. Armonius And for the last category we have the best of Temple Unknown. Taking the first place was Armonius, followed by Stanrar, who's bark just might be as bad as his bite.. Talar snagged the number 3 spot, and in the next place we have Stanrar's wife Alynia. Jazbo, that occasionally fierce Monitanian with the not so fierce heart rounds off the list. **The information contained within does not necessarily reflect the opinions of the Spurian Spectator Staff. Although we are within rights to laugh at the content. Changeman's Vault :::You are led through a hidden door in the administration part of the city by a dark skinned burglar and a masked Khat. With a smile the burglar motions you into the vault. Near you, stacked on boxes are several scrolls. Looking around, you realize this isn't Changeman's vault....::: Welcome once again to my vault, where words are hoarded like Dragons hoard gold. Well, to be honest, this week we aren't actually in my vault. I'm getting it's locks improved, so this week I'm located in the fabled Pride vault. Thank you and a big hug to Santos and his pride Khits for the loan of their vault. (Everyone be sure to thank them. It's the polite thing to do.) Anyway let's get down to biz. If you hear a Spurian say something amusing, interesting, thought provoking, or just hilariously stupid, please send it to me at Stlkerazzi in the poor quarter. Please keep the quotes true, but out of context is just fine. Sending the race and profession of the speakers helps too. I'm also especially interested in quotes spoken in the various racial languages, as it's stuff the average Spurian doesn't get to hear. Loved that Monit quote Lisssa sent me last time. Many thanks to Lysandra, Reason, Leyara the big shot editor type, and anyone else that helped. Here ya go! Danecker says to Crow, "There he goes with that harem girl bit.. he just
can't see that they are poor street harlots" Stanrar says to Traycon, "Why does it matter to a mighty draco what
mortals thinks?" Sweetie shouts, "They fear my redecorating skilllllssss" Drizze asks Tygerlili, "Yooz dat persun dat pokes in peepuls butts?
" "Oh for Set's sake..I suppose us torchsellers ought to go and grovel
in front of the Klawvyr or the Claymore or whatever the Pride-Leader
calls himself, begging for forgiveness? Oh, my UTMOST apologies for
DARING to look into thy mighty and Honorable Pocket!" Verbaniah exclaims to Drakin, "Don't drink and link!!" Aliyah says to Chasdity, "You're strange" Bump exclaims, "Bump Buzzed!" Leyara says to Kraggon, "I bank all my coin....don't want no thieves to
get it" Wund asks September, "You a teef?" Cuervo says, "You two couldn't hit me if I was sleeping off a hangover." Banath says to Arius, "Stay back spawn of little people" Icewin asks Epsilon, "Dare you look upon the magnificence of San and
not fall to the dirt?" Grath says to Dmajh, "I'm proud of my stench thank you" Silvadiem asks, "Does anyone know that Liontu?" Morpheus asks, "What are you two doing?" 'I don't dance it naked. The lobster dance be sacred.' Lei thinks to you, "Well when I get the money let me know yes or no, but
be advised you will all die and no matter how many times you take my things
it will not stop you from dying" Happenings about Spur Results of a pet sale held by Milene the Fir Elf Merchant during the Celebration of Nature's Renewal... A grey Bloodhound, sold to Athern for 450 gold A Dusk Jackal, sold to Sweetie for 600 gold A sinuous green Vine Viper, sold to Remath for 500 gold A fluffy Fairy mouse, sold to September for 710 gold. Good thing she bought it to, because the poor little thing would have ended up in Jazbo's mouth had he been the one to buy it. The fact that it flies wouldn't have made much of a difference either I don't think. A starlight moth, to Ecco for 325 gold...This little moth was seen eating meat, yes real meat shortly after it was bought so beware, there is no telling what it might eat next. A Sunfire Quetzal, sold to Shivaya for 1,840 gold and it talks pretty darn good too. All you run of the mill, common Raven's watch out! A black striped Briar cat, sold to Eurus for 1,300 gold A furry Moss Caterpillar, sold to Audra for 500 gold Recently some news was brought to my attention about a Secian who left Spur not to long ago to travel back to Secia. A Secian who was possibly even more opinionated than yours truly. A Secian that went by the name of Kymberlee. She reportedly had struck someone in the face before she left and after doing so, her physical appearance began to change. Her ears had begun to grow, becoming elongated and quite pointy. My source also told me that on that same night, she wrote a letter saying good-bye but also that her journey in Spur had come to an end and she was returning to Secia. Didn't even meet with her bond or her husband to say good-bye, instead choosing to leave a simple note. Suspicious for sure. But who can blame her? I would not want anyone to see me either if I had pointy ears, oops I guess I already do, silly me. That mysterious yet so elusive golden haired Elf maiden was once again seen sauntering through the middle of town, once more looking for her father. If anyone has had any more sighting of her or have a theory as to what her purpose is, who she is...please send your ideas into me to the scribe with the same name... Veradona, the Muat that just refuses to die has once again reared her obnoxious little noodle of a head and has been seen running amok all over Spur. Her favorite area during feeding times seems to be the crypt but she will strike whenever and wherever it suits her fancy. She has recently attacked Kougar, Mala, Bael, Mahali, Dmajh, Avea, Tigerclaw, and also Meriah, who after attacking her, left a note behind that Masher noticed and picked up. The note reads: "Little bunnies everywhere, feed me well, keep me fair, do your part to keep me strong, and mayhap I shall let you live one more night." Not quite the poet but her mocking tone even with the written word says it all. Is she on some agenda, is there some rhyme or reason to these attacks or is it purely random? I don't think any of those people have her rings, armor, and whatever else she lost, so, eegads! Her appetite must be growing! Yes that must be it... Recently this intrepid reporter had the honor of touring the city of Spur with one of its prominent citizens, Semper the Human Justice. Semper arrived in Town Square and after announcing his desire to view the area under Slayer's Justice, headed off with former head of the Knights' Council Jazbo and myself. We stopped for Jazbo to briefly converse with the Human (a conversation which I could not grasp). The tete-a-tete provided a most fortuitous delay, as midway through, a scream for help was cried from Town Square Center. Semper immediately rushed to the scene and settled a conflict between Leuian Heart Cleric and noted moron Musashi and several Taathians. The magnificent Justice resolved the situation without having to resort to either bloodshed or jail time. Satisfied that peace had been restored, Semper set off to tour the city, joined by myself and High Priestess of Rinanni Tygerlili Furbelly (Jazbo apparently had a busy schedule of kitten eating to maintain, and could not join us). Following is an account of our chat: First Semper surprised us by heading northwest from Town Square, up to the gate leading to Spur's poor quarter: Justice Semper: "It is sad what happens." Albiez Henriquez: "I thought that you folk didn't worry much about this part of town, it not paying much in tax gold..." JS: "The folk who live here do not believe in Justice, thus we visit from
time to time." AH: "Maybe they don't believe because it never did anything but hurt them." JS: "Perhaps Dread. I have heard things of this Justice." With a nod, Semper next stopped by the temple of Odarous, the God whom he serves. After bowing to one of the elaborate statues in front of this gaudy edifice, he continued down Enlightened Way to the gate leading to the intersection between Magick and Gruggle Ways. AH: "I got a question, if the temples aren't down here anymore, how come the road's still called "Enlightened"?" JS: "Perhaps because some form of knowledge is still being sought in this direction?" He's a bright one, that human! After making sure that the mages and newts were safe, the Justice took us back to the steps leading up to Odie's house. JS: "It does not appear that any crimes are being committed." AH: "So you aren't a real Justice?" JS: "I am as real as any other." AH: "Not as real as Pure, he's a Justice. You look like a human to me." JS: "I, unlike others, was not a Justice originally." Tygerlili Furbelly: "Are the others flesh and blood?" JS: "I was a fighter in Odarous's temple. I died in his service and he raised me to my current position." AH: "You're undead?" JS: "I am as undead as you are when a cleric resurrects you." AH: "What about Random? He seems a bit too chaotic for Odie's eyes..." TF: "Poetic Justice is glorious and beautiful." JS: "There is order in chaos and even chaos in order." AH: "So Odie likes all that nonsense of Random's?" JS: "If people learn to not violate the tenets that Odarous has laid down." AH: "So if there were a Cruel Justice who mercilessly tortured and maimed people, it would be okay, because it scared people into obeying the law? I mean, people should follow the law because it's in their hearts, not because they're scared, right?" JS: "As you know, Dread Justice is no longer with us. I believe that is why." TF: "If it was Cruel justice, wouldn't it be unfair then?" JS: "There are some excesses that are not acceptable." AH: "Dredd left because he quit, Odie didn't fire him. I was there when it happened, matter of fact. He just broke his sword and walked off. There was never any indication that Odarous didn't endorse him fully." JS: "I am not here when that occurred, however I heard of his methods of enforcing the law." TF: "Was he the one that whipped people?" AH: "Absolutely abhorrent, yet he was still given all the privileges of a Justice, was a real Justice as a matter of fact, created by Odarous himself." JS: "There are a few things I must take care of while it is quiet." Recently at the Bardic Recitals, a Taunt-fest replaced the usual Spur of the Moment contest. Our topic of taunt was the Guv'na of Spur, Merlin...or at least I think that's who it is now. The winning entry was written by Puss E. Cat and includes the required line linking the Guv'na to Kagee and Sweetie and belittling them all. Aye, was my fault, but I enjoyed every precious second I laughed me arse off. She even scared the competition into forfeiting! I would also like to point out that the Recitals are held every Thursday eve at 8:30 PM in the Bard's Guild.
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